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Tuesday, December 26, 2006 // 0 comments
 I found some jokes. Some of them were so funny until i roflmao! Enjoy reading them! #1 : Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said,"Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged - since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient - I have concluded that your act displays soundness of mind. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with the belt to his robe, right after you saved him. I am sorry, but he's dead. "Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put himthere to dry. When can I go home?" [this one made me roflmao] #2: THREE MEN WERE WALKING THROUGH THE JUNGLE IN MUKIT TIMAH AND THEY FOUND A GENIE SITTING BY A CLIFF . THE GENIE SAIS " I WILL GRANT YOU EACH ONE WISH , ALL YUO HAVE TO DO IS SAY WHAT U WANT AND JUMP OFF THE CLIFF". THE 1ST GUY WENT TO THE EDGE , YELLED "MONEY" AND JUMPS OFF, HE LANDS IN A BIG PILE OF MONEY.THE SECOND GUY GOT UP AND YELLED "WOMEN" , HE LANDS AMONG HUNDREDS OF WOMEN. THE THIRD GUY, WHO WAS PRETTY EXCITED NOW, GOT TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF, SLIPPED AND YELLED "SH1T"! [sry for all the CAPS i copy and paste] #3: A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer, and a mop. #4: Three women were about to be shot in a police station for commiting crimes. When the first woman was about to be shot(police was counting down, 3, 2,1!), she yelled, "EARTHQUAKE!!" and everyone evacuted so she safely escaped. When the second woman was about to be shot, she yelled, "TORNADO!!" and she too escaped. When the third woman was about to be shot(3,2,1!!), she yelled,"FIRE!!" and she............. #5: (this one heard from friends) a lady was in love with a policeman, postman and a butcher but she could only marry one of them so she said: "make a sentence using liver and cheese and i marry the one that makes a sentence i like." the policeman said: "I like cheese but dont like liver" (lady kicks him out of the door) the postman said: "I like liver but dont like chese" (lady kicks him out of the window) the butcher said: "liver alone, cheese mine!" [made me roflmao] #6: [very familiar like that] One day, a panda went to a local bar and ordered a cup of wine and was eating some food that he brought from his house. After eating and drinking, he take out his gun and shoot everyone in the bar. Question is, why did he do that ? Answer: Cos panda eat shoots and leaves Dont get it ? You see, a real panda eat shoots(young plants) and leaves (leaf) . #7: Bob was going out with his gf, Tammy. Tammy and Bob had just finished watching a movie and Bob had dropped Tammy off in front of her house when Tammy's father walked to them. Tammy father said "Tammy grandma is here, come in and say hello." Bob thinks to himself, "Argh! I need to fart but I have to go." So he said "Okay". They are all sitting down at the dinnertable and Bob is about to explode. He says to himself, "I've really got to fart so I'll just let a little bit go at a time." Meanwhile the dog, Duke, is sitting right beside him. "Bllllght!" Tammy's father said "Duke!" and sat back down. "Oh my God! They think it's the dog!" "Bllllght!" Again Tammy's father stands up and says "Duke!" Finally, Bob lets it go really big, it's the biggest fart you've ever heard. "Blllhhhttgggghtttttttbang!" Tammy's father stands up and shouts "Duke! Get the hell out of there before he farts on ya!" enough jokes for the day=P |
